My Drunken Past, My Drunken Spirit...

  It's cold and refreshing. It's soothes the back of your throat. It gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling over the course of 5 or 6 of them.

 What is it you ask? Simple...

 "BEER!"

 Many of days and nights I spent drinking my life through-out my military career and and long after that. I would hang out in the bars or a friends and drink an ice cold Corona until the lights in my eyes would fade and the sunset was about to come. I would end up either butt-naked or worse. I admit there were some really good times when I was drunk, but I can also admit that there were some really bad times. Some that were so bad, that even writting this gets me a little emotional. Most of us have been there though. One night-stands, talking to the Porcelain King and late night fights. I remember my first drunk was at my sister's 16th birthday and my mother had gotten her a keg of Coors Light for her present. Mom was not your typical mother!(Love you mom). We played quarters until I puked all over the place. I ended up walking around the house in my underwear. That was the very first time that I got drunk. I also remember the last time that I got drunk as well. August 21st, 2007 was the night that I proceeded to drink Corona, Bud Ice and Hot Damn!!! Needless to say, I puked my brains until there was none left and the hangover that I had was by far the worst I have ever had.

 But when I woke up the next day, I knew that in my Spirit, I was done drinking. I was tired of the hangovers, trying to get people saved off the "drunken witnessing"(and yes, I did witness to people while I was drunk), puking to no end, tearing up people's house and being butt-naked when I woke up each morning. I even remember attending church drunk at one point and time. It was time for all of this to come to an end...

 The day that I woke up, my friends were already drinking and I didn't even want to think about having another beer. I was so sick, that I wanted to throw up just looking at them. But I also knew that I was done drinking. I just knew it and felt it in my Spirit. My Pastor for years had always talked about getting drunk and it how "strong brew was a brawler." A friend of mine Brandy reminded me of that not to long ago. Drinking and partying was about to be over with me in the blink of an eye. When I was sitting on the porch that day, I just kept thinking to myself, "I am so tired of this." Waking up and feeling like crap almost every weekend. And in that moment, I made the decision,

 "I quit!"

 I can honestly say that my road to stop drinking has been a really easy road. I just so tired of it, my flesh and Spirit said "no problem."  Proverbs 20:1 Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.

 Now for the longest time I really never argued that issue, but then I came across another verse that just blew my mind. In Acts 2, it talks about the disciples being filled with a "new wine." They were seen as being drunk by other people. But they were actaully "drunk in the Spirit" or otherwise known as being "Baptised in the Holy Spirit." They were talking in "different tongues" and acting like crazy people. The last time I talked in different tongues, it was Heineken's fault. Now being "drunk in the Spirit" is so much better than being "drunk in the world."  Now most of society thinks that being "drunk in the Spirit" is barking like dogs, running around the room screaming or a weird laugh. But here is the truth...

 

 Being drunk in the Spirit is like being on the ultimate drug. Bad term for such a good feeling. The first time I got drunk in the Spirit was in church during a mid-week service. God had been dealing me on some issues and when I felt His arms around me, I just went limp to the ground. I just layed there and thinking of only God. He was sitting there right beside me and just put His hand on my heart. I can't think of any other way to describe it. From that point on, I was able to experience more of God's Presence on my life. I was sitting at Mug's one day and me and a friend were watching a video that was making fun of people being "drunk in the Spirit." But when we watched it, we knew what it was and it started to get on us. I had boldness, got excited and couldn't stop thinking of God. Let me explain what I mean.

 Being "drunk in the Spirit" is being so immersed in the Presence of God, that you lose sight of time, surroundings, people and so much more. Everything that is happening in the world you are oblivious too. I feel a sense of warmth at times, but then there are times when I feel like laughing my head off. There are moments of great silence and some of great worship. Being drunk is a worldly term that can only describe odd behavior, but to me it's just like acting goofy. I can't really explain the feeling. The twelve disciples were made fun of by others because the appeared to be "drunk." The people who didn't know had a misconception because they saw things in the natural. That is the way people see and think about the "charismatic movement." We simply see this as being nothing but "so sensitive to the Holy Spirit" that we lose ourselves, our flesh. We become like God wants us to become.

 Now this is not to condemn people of drinking . I have slipped on many occassions and have had a couple of beers. Now, does God hate me because I fell off the wagon, absolutely not!!! I just know in my heart and Spirit that my drunk days are long over. Drinking is not the end of me, but could be the beginning of something that I have tried to stear away from. Each person has to come to this own revelation on their own. But this is going to sound bad. I don't believe in what Alcoholics Anonymous says. "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." I refuse to accept that.

 God says that I am a new creation, "behold all things have passed and I have become new creation." I will not let the world tell me who I am or who I used to be. I have overcome because Jesus overcame it first. Don't let the enemy also beat you up for it as well. He will use everything in his power to make you fall. Keep reminding yourself who you are. "In our weakness, He is strong." Our strength to overcome doesn't come from ourselves, but that we call and answer God's Promise on our lives. If you are having difficulty overcoming this and need help, first pray and seek God on all of this. Then go to someone that you can talk to and get help with. But talk to God, look at the Scriptures, start proclaiming that you are free of this stronghold.

 A glass of wine or a cold beer is not the end of the world, but over time it could be the end of you. Being filled or "drunk" with the Presence of God is the end of you as well. Choose which glass you want to drink from.....

A Tarzan Inspired Moment from God...

 This is going to be a very weird Blog for me tonight because I was watching a Disney movie that had a "God-themed" idea to it.

 I just recently watched the Disney movie "Tarzan" and noticed something that many people would not have noticed through-out the movie. In the movie, as a boy, Tarzan did everything he could to "fit in" so that he would be accepted by the leader of the gorillas, Kerchak. Now, in the beginning, Kerchak had lost a child and was resentful of Tarzan being in the family. Tarzan's adopted mother nursed, cared and fed him like he was her own. Kerchak wanted nothing to do with the boy. After Kala, Tarzan's adopted mother, showed him that even though they were different on the outside, they were the same on the inside. The same love and compassion that Kala had, Tarzan had that as well.

 So in one moment, Tarzan decided that he was going to do whatever it takes to get Kerchak's approval. He was going to try and earn his approval no matter what it was gonna take. SOUND FAMILIAR? When I was watching this, I thought to myself, "how many people are trying to earn God's approval?" Alot of people are always trying to "work or earn" their way into the Kingdom of God. I mean, here is Tarzan risking his life for the mere approval of someone who wants nothing to do with him. Now, God doesn't want us risking our lives for the sake of His approval. We have already recieved His approval through the Cross.

 I mean, this guy killed the enemy of the tribe, and the father still would not approve or find him worthy enough to be called "son." So here is the question. Why are we always out to try and prove ourselves to someone or something in order to fit in? Why do we feel that we have to "prove ourselves worthy" to the Heavenly Father, when in all actuality, we are not worthy? In the Old Testament, God required a yearly sacrifice to account for the sins of man and to approve them worthy of a relationship with Him. But, when God came to the Earth in the flesh, Jesus Christ, God had given us a way to be called "son or daughter." We were worthy of a relationship, entering His Presence and inherited the blessings of our Heavenly Father. So why are people still earning their way into the Father's grace?

 Here's the answer..................condemnation.

 Now some people may teach that you still have to prove yourself in order to gain the Heavenly Father's love. This is a false teaching. If we still had to prove ourselves worthy, then Jesus wouldn't had to lay His life down for you and me. I did a study within the church last year that proved to myself that I was the kind of person that needed to "buy friendship." Now, I couldn't do that with everyone I went to church with, but the truth is that most people will do whatever it takes to either make a friend or make an impression. We have to find "acceptance" in other people so that we can feel good about ourselves. But there is a way that we can avoid all of these traps.

  It's called finding your self-worth in Christ. Many people today do not see the way God sees us. That is why we are always trying to do something to make us fit in whether its at parties, workplace or CHURCH!!! Yes even in church. My example of that is that for the first couple of years in attending church, I lied to fit in! Not the greatest place to lie in, but the truth is that I was alone with no family or friends around the area. I was also homeless and somewhat ashamed of my living conditions. As I grew in the things of God, I began to figure out who I was and could care less about what people thought about me. But that doesn't mean that I have completely gotten over these ideas.The truth is that we seek the approval of everyone these days. No matter who it is. Kids will always try and do something for their parents approval. Employees will always try and work themselves to death to earn a promotion, or a believer trying to earn the love of the Heavenly Father.

 God proved His love for us when His Son went to the Cross and died for our sins. In the Scriptures, it says that "it pleased God to bruise His Son." What Father would be proud of beating his son to death. Jesus saw the Cross as a joy, because He wasn't seeking His Father's approval. He was seeing the approval of all man, not just Jesus. Through the Blood of Christ that was shed, Jesus had made a way that God had approved each and everyone of us through His sacrifice. Jesus became the approval of the Father.

 For years I have battled with seeking approval of my own father because as a son, we want nothing more than to just honor and make them proud, but the truth is that my own dad loves me know matter what I do, say or what. I will always correct me and teach me in a strict way, but it doesn't change the love that he has for me. God is the exact same way. He loves me beyond all sins, past, present and future. And if I do make a mistake, His love never changes. Through the Blood of Jesus, God approved us to have a relationship with Him at anytime, no matter what. But like any good parent, we have to be open to receive the correction that He has for us. A like any son or daughter, we have to choose whether or not to receive that correction. Plain and simple...

 So the next time you feel as if you need to "fit in", ask yourself this question? "Why am I seeking the approval of someone that did nothing for me in this life?" What did this person do for me?"

 "When you see and hear what God says about you, then everyone else's opinion doesn't matter anymore!"

 The end of the story of Kerchak and Tarzan came to the end when Kerchak realized that even though Tarzan was not like him, Kerchak had to die to come to that revelation. Don't wait that long or go to that extreme to find out who you are.

 You are a child of the Most High God, who loves you deeply and wants nothing but the best for you and your family. See yourself the way God sees you.

 That's all that matter in the End...