"Buckwheat, are you serious?"
"Oh my God, I can't believe that!"
"I know what you went through, I really do."
I have heard these phrases a million times over after the passing of my mother. As many times that I have told the story of my mother's death, there are moments that I still get very choked up about it. I was telling a friend of mine the other day about how that event changed my life forever. I have told this story so many times, that it feels like I am telling a bedtime story. But to sit there and tell everyone detail for detail, that is when the emotions can flare up. If you want to understand me and my testimony, you have to see where it all began.
And so here we go...
March 20, 2000 is a day that will always be the worst and best day of my life. I remember it like it just happened. My day would start out pretty much the same when I woke up. Coffee and Star Trek: The Next Generation. Yes, I am a Sci-Fi geek. I was flipping through the channels when I came across my mother's workplace. They had just said that a robbery occured at her workplace, but wasn't giving any information other than that. I called up there and wasn't getting any answers so I got dressed as fast as I could. I got into the car and hauled myself up there as fast as I could. It would normally take about 10 minutes to get to her workplace, I made it there in about 2 minutes. I pulled into the driveway and walked up to a motorcycle cop and told him that I was looking for my mother who worked there. He said that she was probably at the police station giving a report on the robbery. I had to drive down there to find her. I had noticed that there were no ambulances there, so that gave me a good thought in the back of my mind, meaning that no one got hurt.
I was wrong...
When I got to the police station, I walked in and told them who I was and that I was looking for my mother. They led me back to a conference room where another family was sitting there waiting for their family member. I had met Dennis's wife a few times, but never really sat down to talk to her before. I looked at the police officer and said "this isn't my family." The officer said that he was going to go look for my mom. As I was talking to Dennis's wife about what she thought had happened, we were left in utter wonder and fear. We had hoped that it was not the worst, but hoped for the best. I remember telling one of the counselor's that I needed to use a phone while we were waiting. I had to call my step-father at the time. It was the hardest phone call that I had to make because it was the first.
"Dad, hey it's me. Have you talked to mom this morning?"
"No, not since we left this morning. Why, what's wrong?"
"There was a robbery at the carwash and I can't find mom."
Phone clicks and goes dead...
As I am still waiting to hear from the police about mom, I am sitting here in the office and just trying to get my thoughts and feeling together. I hated the "not knowing" part of all this. I always think of the "Jeopardy theme" whenever I tell this part. I walked back into the conference room and saw that it was empty. I waited for a few minutes when about 6 cops come walking in the door. It had just got bad...
"Mr. Spears, we have located your mom, but she has been injured in the robbery along with other people at the carwash."
"Well, where is she and is she okay?"
"Her injuries were severe and did not survive."
"What? What do you mean she didn't survive? Is she dead?"
"Yes."
Silence was in the room. Then I just started crying to the point of losing myself. I remember that I grabbed a table and threw it across the room as hard as I could. The next thing I knew, there were about 4 cops that were on top of me. They had restrained me to the point of laying on the ground. I remember screaming, crying and fighting to get off the ground.
"Mr. Spears, calm down, it's gonna be okay."
"Get off of me, now!"
"I need you to calm down. I'm not letting you go until then."
"Get the hell off of me! Let me go, NOW!!!"
When they picked me up off the ground, I had a moment to catch my breath and kind of take in everything. It was like every part of time had just stopped. This was all a dream and I was ready to wake up.
I never did...
The dream that I thought I was in, just became a nightmare...
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