And so the nightmare has begun...
After I regained somewhat of a composure, I had to take a deep breath and get my focus, even if just for a minute. The lead detective had explained to me what had happened and that a ex-employee was a suspect in the killings, but they were looking for him. It wouldn't be until the next day that they would locate and arrest him. We later found out that the person that was arrested and charged with public indecency just days before the killings. The only thing that I could think of at the time is, "what am I gonna do? How is this happeneing to me?"
Once the officer was finished, I told him that my stepfather was on his way up to the police station and that I had to meet him outside. As I walked through the doors of the police station, a victim's counselor grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side. Her name is Cindy. She would later become one of my greatest friends that I would ever have. She was about 110lbs and was 4'8. She was so sweet and always there to hear me cry. She looked up at me and said "Do you wanna hug?"
I lost it...
That is when I really knew that the dream was real...
I remember falling to the ground and she just hugged me. Even as tall as I am, she and I were the same height with me on the ground. Haha!!! I always teased her about that. Cindy would become a very important part of my life after this day. She would help and teach me how to deal with some of the things that I was about to face. As I got up off the floor, she gave me her card and told me to call her if I needed anything. I started walking outside and I could see David walking up. I got sick at my stomach.
"Where is she?" David asks.
"Uh, I need you to sit down dad. I have to tell you something."
"Just tell me where she is." David says.
"She's gone!" I said.
"What? What do you mean she's gone? Where is she? What happened?" David says.
"There was a robbery at the carwash and mom was injured and she didn't make it. She's dead."
He dropped to the ground and cried. I never saw my stepfather cry before until this moment. I have never had to deliver the "bad news" to anyone before. I was about to become the "messenger" for this. David stood up and ran to his truck. I said "where are you going?" All I heard was the carwash. He went looking for his wife. I tried to stop him, but he just left. One of the officers told me that they were taking mom's body to Parkland Hospital. He said that he would escort me down there if I wanted to. I said "let's go." As we were in the car, he was telling me of things that were to come out of all of this. All I kept thinking was, "mom is dead." He said that there were somethings that he needed to know about mom and that he had a few questions for me. We pull up to the emergency room entrance at the hospital.
Here I go...
I see David sitting in the waiting room with his brother Tim. There were a bunch of cops and doctors standing around him just talking. David walks up to me and says "she's gone." My response, "I know." He had accepted it, even though he didn't want to. Tim said, "Buckwheat, what am I going to do?" Tim and mom were very close. The way they played off of each other, you would have almost thought they were brother and sister. Tim was one of the people who took it the hardest. As we were sitting in the waiting room, a doctor walked up to us and asked for someone to identify mom. David had walked off and went to the bathroom. Tim said, "Buckwheat, wait for David." I said, "I will do it."
"Buckwheat, let David do it." Tim says.
Tim, I can do this."
I walk with the doctor down the hall towards the morgue where they were keeping the bodies. Felt like I was walking the "Green Mile." I walked into this room with a TV screen. The doctor said that an image of her will appear on the screen. It wouldn't be her face, but a part of her that would be recognizable. Then the TV came on.
It was her hand that had her wedding ring...
I won't go into detail of the images that I saw, but I recognize mom's wedding ring. If anyone knew mom, they new the ring. It was huge. She considered it to be her prize possesion amongst her jewelry. But when I say the ring, I said "that is her." And that was it. There was nothing else to be done or said. I walked back out to the waiting room and saw David and Tim standing there. Nothing was said.
"Buckwheat, take my truck back to the house and I will ride with Tim." David says.
"Okay, I will meet you at the house." At the same time, I was thinking of my sister. I tried calling her a couple of times before I left and never could get a hold of her. When I made it to the house, I learned that a friend of the family had gotten a hold of her husband and he was able to find her and tell her. She was 7 months pregnant at the time with her youngest. I wouldn't see her until I got to the house out in the country.
I remember that when I got into David's truck, I just had a moment to myself to just sit there and cry. I just wanted to do nothing but cry and for someone to hold me and say that everything was going to be okay. I kept thinking, "How am I gonna do this?" I start up the truck and head towards the apartment that we all had shared. As I walked into the apartment, David and Tim were already there. David was on the phone talking to his daughter Cheryl. He had the hardest time telling her what happened and passed the phone over to Tim. He couldn't do it either.
"Tim, give the phone to Buckwheat." David says.
A deep breath and here we go. This is the second time that I had to tell someone that mom was dead. It wasn't getting any easier saying it. I grabbed the phone from Tim and said "hello." Looking back now at all of this, God knew how I was gonna pull through all of this. He chose me for this time, only because He knew I was capable to stand strong in all of this. God was there with me, but I wish more than ever that I had been with Him in all of this.
"Cheryl, hey it's me." All that I heard was screaming and crying. "Cheryl, calm down, I need you to take a breath and calm down." She started to slow down and get herself together somewhat. When she got to the point of being able to talk to her, that is when I told her what had happened. As soon as I told her, the crying started all over again. Then all I heard is "click." She would call back a few minutes later and I got her somewhat calmed. But there was still one call that i had to make before I did anything else.
My dad...
My dad and I have never had the best father and son relationship due to me. I have always been a great liar, especially when it comes to my father. My father has always paid the price for my lies. Yet, like our Heavenly Father, he has always taken me back. I remember calling him that day. I had made so many calls before I called him, that I hated making this one above any of them. How do you sit there and tell the your dad that the mother of your children has been murdered? Truth is, there's no handbook. That is the truth!!!
So I dialed his number and he answered, "Hello."
"Hey papa, it's me."
I just hated this call...
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